Standing still as all this passes or do I fall. Closed loops self made have trapped me here, my life crystalline. Cast this off. Cast off this dead shell. Take these steps, the first I have in years. Can I move to escape this prison. I must find the strength to reach up.This fear, these concessions anchor me like nails to my own self centered pity. Bound to acceptance of this squalor and defeat. Let this light pierce the shroud I hide behind. I must find the strength to tear my self from this crucifix. I will bleed but the wounds will heal and the scars will be the first to mark this. Evidence of choice, proof of agency. Determined to find the strength to pull the nails but for my own neglect go I.